The End Of Innocence - 5th Standard

The year came to its inevitable end, and we all packed up, all eager to go home. I was taking back with me, not only the physical baggage, which I anyway never carried, but also the emotional baggage of experiences, ones I had never had before that year, and ones I believe I never had had ever after.

Maybe because I chose to learn lessons from each of them, maybe because they left too deep a scar that hasn't yet healed, whatever the reason, the endpoint being I never felt that way about things anymore. Maybe I never felt those experiences anymore because I chose to not react the way I did then to them anymore. Or maybe they were the last in stock, of such experiences, and God was done testing me in that manner. Well, proved to be wrong later, but then, that much imperfection does go a long way in helping the growth.

As usual, I went home, to enjoy yet another two months of uninterrupted joy(its a different matter that it was also during the same holidays that I 'ran away' from home, only to return for entirely stupid reasons, I mean stupid for a person who ran away. But I won't post that here, or else Pandu will kill me). The months passed like hours and soon I was waiting for the 'clothes letter', the one that would tell me the time was up, and that I had better pack up. Besides, I had got myself a new suitcase, one to fill in all my belongings, one that gleamed for quite a long time, and was therefore eagerly waiting to fill something into it.

And then it arrived.

A letter, that looked in all ways like the 'clothes letter". A blue 'Inland' letter, which used to be typewritten, containing the marks and accompanied with the clothes list. Only, this one didn't have the clothes list attached to it. It had another sheet instead, which said in as polite terms as possible, that I was being let go of, and was no longer required to attend the school. It also said that my parents could come and collect the TC whenever they wanted and that there was no hurry, the important emphasis of the letter being that I should never be brought back there.

It was really the first time, (and in many ways, the only time of that kind) that I found myself short of words. They just wouldn't come out of my mouth, despite 'talking' being the need of the hour, since everybody wanted to know what feats I had done that got me such a rare recognition. I just couldn't speak not only because the words wouldn't come out, but more because I myself could not comprehend, what I had done, that had so much as upset the powers that be. So I just maintained that bland "I myself don't know, how can I tell you" look throughout the rest of the holidays.

Then began the long journey, back to school. Although I was instructed not to come along, I was anyway taken along, along with a list of 'probable' clothes that were needed. The train seemed to take its own sweet time to get moving, and every two minutes, my grandfather would keep staring at me(and maybe muttering inside, "what has this bloody fellow done this time", because nobody really forgot the 'Guiness Book' feat, and they kept saying that was the reason I was being kicked out). I was wishing the train would crash somewhere due to some cyclone or something, and then maybe we wouldn't have to go back to school. Atleast I just couldn't imagine what I would do standing in the room waiting to be surely kicked out.

But trains never behave the way you really want them to. Seems they have a mind of their own, which is bent on disagreeing with every passenger's wish at the same time. So we finally reached Dharmavaram without any unfortunate(fortunate in my mind then) incident and caught the waiting bus to Puttaparthi. The bus reached there ten minutes earlier. Seems everything on this earth was conspiring to make my life as miserable as possible, and my pondering over them was not making things any easier.

Soon we were dressed and loading the luggage into an auto, we were headed towards the school. Still don't know why atleast that auto didn't crash into something or overshoot the school into some wilderness where nobody knew anybody, but anyway it didn't. Once we were into the school, and neared HM's office, we were greeted by Manorathi maam(only knew her name because she never taught us any subject till then, however everybody knew she had a fearsome reputation) who checked on a list in her hand(the list of the 21 students who were already kicked out) and politely asked my grandfather why I was brought along, since they has specifically mentioned that I was not to show my face there again. My grandfather mumbled something about meeting HM one last time or something to that effect and was able to convince her to let us go inside. So even my last shred of hope was shredded beyond redemption, and I was forced to go inside.

I finally entered, after being almost dragged in, and stood there waiting for the big bang. My Judgement Day had arrived, and I didn't look in the best of form to even sit through it. But that day the day belonged to people. My grandfather and HM. We were inside for the better part of an hour, an hour that saw many tears, many accusations, many denials and more refusals than I ever saw ever or was ever to see(it was also the hour when for the first time the 'fatherless' card was played out in the discussions, and it would be played out many more times later in school life).

I finally walked out of the room having done with the fees payment and in the process of walking out they way I did, created history. I was the only one among the 21 in the hit-list that walked for more than a full day in that campus again, in fact I waled there for 2 more years. I still don't know what worked inside the room that day, the 1st of June, 1995, but what I do know is that, it is the day when I lost the last shred of my innocence. I lost it through the two lessons that I learnt out of it.

1. I wasn't invincible, above the law, or for that matter, I wasn't even indispensable. I was only as good as my behaviour throughout my contact with a person was. I was only as good as were people who weren't worser. If I happened to be the worse, there was only one way the door would point, outwards. Nobody was desperately trying to cling on to me, because I was smart or because I talked smooth. Everybody had their own list of problems, and I was never going to be allowed to be the first on that list. If I became a problem, they would just let go, I was not a problem that they had to live with, there were other problems more pressing than me.

If I believed that because I had got into a school that thousands could not get into every year, and would therefore not be kicked out irrespective of what I did, then I was not only stretching my dream too far, I was also refusing to come out of it, before it burst. If I believed that I would be kept in because of who I was(a nobody), then I was fooling only one person, myself. And besides, the next time also, not only would the train not crash, it would arrive earlier also. God would make sure I never missed that train or auto, the next time, if only to prove to me what my place was in this world.

2. There exists something called forgiveness, and every person on this planet deserves a second chance. That was the culmination of all my learning at primary school, a fact that I would never and can never forget all my life. And the one person who taught me that is HM. When you have decided to jump from a building and die, and have already jumped, it takes takes the greatest amount of love, to stop midway, to save a child who slipped down by mistake. That was the love and compassion that HM had. It was she who persevered when Prassunna maam and Jayarathi maam were urging her from behind to get it over with, and move on ot the next person, because there were more than 300 students still waiting. She still decided to spend that time listening to my grandfather cry about my potential and future out of that school, and took the pain to decide what that one more chance could do to my life, rather than go with a decision that was easy for everybody concerned in the school. She decided that I deserved more than the deal I was being handed, despite strong objection from even Shruthi maam(I still don't know what spark she saw in me), and that giving me that extra rope in life was going to take me farther in life than cutting the rope was.

But why should she care? Whether the rope being cut put me on the street or whether the rope extended would not also extend the torture for the teachers for another two years. She cared because she truly loved each and every one of the students, and it really pained her to see such students(ones she treated like her own children) develop into what can be mildly called juveniles. So she believed that if her decision could save atleast one student from such a fate, her life would be worth it, and believe me she has done this a hundred times over, I wasn't the first, and I certainly wasn't the last.

She taught me that in life, everybody deserves a second chance. A chance that may save the relation from going bad, a chance that may do more good than the rejection of the first time. She taught me that this is a merciless world and among the pack of hyenas eyeing someone's blood, being the one with a heart is what mattered most. It is the one that is remembered most, and the one revered most.

These pieces of knowledge signaled the end of an era of innocence, where I believed all actions would be taken in a light spirit, and that I was still a child who could have as much fun as he wanted on anything that caught is fancy. The world was no more willing to indulge me and be my playtoy, it was time to understand that and live upto that.

- GUPTA GHOST

Vinasha Kaale Vipareetha Buddhi - Part 5 - 5th Standard

A lot more incidents come to my mind(atleast about 50) about 5th Standard than I don't want to share, because they were not my personal incidents and besides a lot of people would be much happier if such incidents remained buried forever. Therefore I shall post one last incident involving me(and no, this isn't about the Gupta Ghost story, although that did happen in the 5th Standard, however it has been reserved to be narrated after the school experiences) in the 5th Standard.

This one has something to do with the dhobi box. I am sure a lot of people have had a lot of experiences with the dhobi box, mine was one a similar though on a completely different tangent. Irrespective of what a lot of people used to use it for, and there really were innumerable uses of it, for me the dhobi box used to signify only one thing, 'bunking box'. I used to use it quite often whenever I wanted to bunk Suprabhatam.

I still don't know what it was about Suprabhatam that made us enemies, but from the very first time I have heard it, I have never managed to stay awake through each and every line of it even for a single day. Don't know what it signified for the others, but for me, Suprabhatam was a wake up call telling me to get to sleep again. Upto the 4th Standard, I wasn't daring enough, and besides the dormitories we stayed in till then were not accomodating enough, for such stunts, and so I was forced to attend Suprabhatam everday. I wouldn't have really minded if they were conducted the way Prassanna maam used to let them be conducted. With the lights offed, and only the lamps at the beginning glowing. I always used to sit at the ending always at the corner row, because I used to wake up last, brush last and thus used to arrive last.

Things were really good then, because the lights would be offed, and Prassanna maam used to let "sleeping dogs lie", and never bother with us last row people whose only work would be to sleep through the entire proceedings. In fact, we would just come in, sit, bend forward, onto the back of the guy front of us, and sleep. It would seem like a huge sleeping Mexican wave of students, the entire last row. But things can't always be so rosy can they?

Our nemesis was Warden Aunty, who would come in once in two days during Suprabhatam and give a crackling shot on each one's back that would resound for quite while. It got a little disconcerting the first few days, because we would have scalded backs for the rest of the day. However Darwin was right about evolution and adaptation, because soon we programmed our sub-conscious to such a level that the moment we heard the first sound, everyone would immediately sit up ramrod straight and pretend as if we were singing along(hell, we didn't know the lines even after we finished 7th Standard, though Vasanthi Aunty made a valiant effort by including it in the HV syllabus in our 6th Standard, and I bet, more than 60% of the guys learnt it then rather than before).

However, by the time I reached 5th Standard, I was fed up of this routine, specially since I usually used to turn out to be the last guy to turn out, and that made me a regular target for Warden Aunty. So in the 5th Class, I devised a way out of all this headache. The dhobi box. The idea itself was very ingenious, because by not attending Suprabhatam at all, I could avoid being hit at all, and at the same time sleep to my heart's content.

So everyday, like always, I would be the last to get up and get ready. However this time, my schedule took a slight change, after everybody else had left, would slip into the dhobi box, and pile clothes upon myself and sleep away to glory, till everyone came back to collect their shoes for games(the shoebox was right next to the dhobi box). After the whole dormitory quietened down, I would emerge from the dhobi box and leave for games myself.

Since this technique was such a hit, I decided to extend it to other areas as well. We used to go for Darshan only on two days(Thursday and Sunday, apart from festival days) and that too only in the mornings. But I got bored of that also, and decided to bunk Darshans also. So after the morning breakfast on Darshan days, I would again run up to the dhobi box to begin my second innings of sleep and would sleep till Darshan was over, and students came back(Suprabhatam was there on Darshan days also, and we used to have morning bath and have Vibuthi applied, that gooey paste of dark grey that they made out of it to make it stick properly, was a real treat, not on the face, but into the mouth. We really used to relish clearing out a whole packet).

Even this would have worked fine, if my reach hadn't exceeded my grasp. I decided that I was bored with the evening bhajans also, and so decided to bunk them also. That proved to be my undoing. It was the third day of my bunking bhajans by sleeping in the dhobi box. I was really tired, playing hard that day, and fell into a deep sleep as bhajans were going on. It seems the dhobi had come to collect the clothes then, and had lifted the topmost pile and found me sleeping there. He wasn't sure if I was alive or conscious, so he called Warden Aunty. She came to me, called out my name, and tapped me on the shoulder, before shaking me. I immediately sat up and asked "bhajans are already over aa?". I didn't receive an answer in words. Instead I received a tight slap across my face, which brought me back to reality and to the gravity of the situation.

That day ended with a lot of cover-up stories ot Warden Aunty who never seemed to believe a single one(don't really know if she was too smart, or if I was really a very bad story-teller then), and therefore ended up getting more than a fair share of whackings for each story I came out with. Wonder what they do in those dhobi boxes nowadays.

- GUPTA GHOST

P.S.
Even though I got caught, I never managed to reveal the real reason for my being found in the dhobi box to Warden Aunty and so although I no longer bunked bhajans, I continued to bunk Suprabhatam and Darshan throughout the rest of the 5th Standard. Besides, I would often have company from other like-minded people who saw me getting into the dhobi box.

Vijay Mallya would say 'let the good times pour'. But for how long will the good times pour. It was an answer that I was going to get very soon. And it wasn't an answer I had ever expected in my life. Though it was the first such incident, it was much worser than the rest.

Vinasha Kaale Vipareetha Buddhi - Part 4 - 5th Standard

The ink incident was after all a precursor for the days to come. There would be even worser incidents that would change my whole outlook towards a lot of events. However they didn't involve me personally to a great extent and have therefore decided to skip mentioning them here. However one incident that did involve me and taught me a lot of lessons that I have never forgotten is the 'bath' incident.

It goes like this. Dileep, Dinakar(Chikka) and me and another guy I don't remember used to have fun in the bathrooms after the games period, and just before bhajans. We used to clean up the sink kind of basin that people used to use for brushing, block one end with a cloth, and open all the taps to fill it with water. Once filled, we used to use it as a swimming pool. Also, the hot water tap used to be used to fill bucket after bucket, and simply splash it all over the floor between the bathrooms and the toilets, to get it all cleaned up, to begin skating on the floor, knee-skating to be precise.

And the middle bathroom, we used to block the exits from both sides and start filling water, so we, Jai Sai and Jigmee could use it as a bigger swimming pool. Everyday we used to rush in 15 minutes before games got over and start filling it so that we could enjoy for atleast half-an-hour before bhajans. Jai Sai, Jigmee and Rohit Parmar would jump into the middle bathroom and splash around, while Dileep, Chikka and I would enjoy outside, playing knee-skating and waddling in the smaller pool(well I settled for it because I never knew swimming(and I still don't) and besides my efforts at trying it have always failed).

Lots of seniors(big brothers) would take offence to it because we didn't spare anybody, but we were left unharmed only because Jigmee and Jai Sai also happened to be there. Whoever came in got a splashing welcome of a bucketful of water on them. So people would enter from the other door and get through with their work and leave as fast as possible. We always used to have a lookout in the beginning because we used to enjoy till the last moment, and maams' would always come into the dormitories to herd all the guys for bhajans. So we used to take turns being the lookout.

However after about 2 months of such fun and frolic, not a single maam came upto the bathrooms and so we stopped caring about the lookout job. One fine day(or rather fateful day), we were enjoying as usual, when 'Tall' Parvathi amma came inside the bathrooms and in our usual style we saw somebody was entering and we just emptied a bucket on her. Flabbergasted, she screamed at all of us to stop and ran out. We had a good laugh and continued playing. I was just coming out of the bathroom with another bucket filled to splash on the next entrant when everything fell silent. I called out "Dileep, Chikka", and got no response. I decided they were playing a trick on me, and so ran out with the bucket, and emptied it with all my force.

Guess who was standing there, waiting to get splashed by me. No prizes, it was none other than Warden Aunty. I dropped the bucket when I saw her dripping wet and tried to run. I found that she had closed the door at the other side and was standing at this door. Boy, did we get a thrashing. Even today when I see some marks on me, though temporary, I keep thinking it must have been a remainder of the thrashing we got that day. She caught each of u by our necks and banged our heads against each other(phantom style) and was all the while blasting us about enjoying by wasting water, and about our discipline in general.

We believed we were dead that day, and that she would never stop punching and slapping us. Luckily bhajans started and somebody called her, so she left, leaving us to wash our red faces and get ready for bhajans. Still wonder whether somebody really called her that day, or she left us because she thought we would pass out if she hit us any longer. Well, so much for my adventures with bath.

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

Vinasha Kaale Vipareetha Buddhi - Part 3 - 5th Standard

Well, Shruthi maam and Shashi maam weren't the only ones who had something against me. The next in the list is none other than HM. Well it wasn' t actually my fault, but nevertheless I got properly beaten for it.

It all began with my craze for inventions. Always used to be mad about inventing something(still am, keep thinking up new things that can be made everyday), and the fad then were pens. We had just joined the 5th Class and this was the first year in our lives that we were allowed to use pens(had to make do with pencils until then, don't know about other schools, but for us, upto 4th Class end, we had to use pencils, that were sharpened by those machines that were gifted by someone, the ones where you put the pencil in, and and twisted the handle until the pencil got sharpened, really used to be fascinated by it then).

Although I wasn't the pioneer in pens, I did get into some really wacky stuff with them. The credit for being the pioneer innovators in custom-made pens goes to Sadde and Yagna Valkya. They were the ones who first got into this field. Although others before them made minor modifications to their existing pens, these two were really the first to craft an entirely new pen. They had taken the nib and base from a fountain pen(Hero pen), and put it into a sketch pen, and filled it with ink. Was really a marvel of that time, and in no time, the class was filled with people attempting lookalikes of this version(me included, although I was also trying to develop my own model also).

So I decided to one better than them. I took a ball-point pen(ball pen), emptied it throughout except for the body. I attached the filler portion of the Hero pen to its rear end, and attached a conventional nib and base to the front and filled the entire body as well as filler with ink. Thus in many ways it was an easy to fill pen, all you had to do was press the filler, and the whole pen would fill up. And it would last for atleast 2 weeks with the amount of ink it had. Was very excited about it and showed it around and immediately got 3 enquiries/orders for such pens. But my joy wasn't about to last long.

It was after bhajan time, and I just set about making the first of the orders that I had received. Suddenly the whole class grew quiet, and HM walked in. I didn't know, the deeply-engrossed inventor that I was, I was just putting away the pen after completing it, when HM told everybody to line up for dinner. I also joined the lines, and stuffed the pen into my pocket. The ink began to leak(well it was just a prototype and wasn't yet ready for commercial production), and soon enough my pocket began to spread into a blue enlarging dot(which brought to mind a bad reminder of the 'tar' incident).

Obviously HM noticed it and asked me what I was doing, I raised my hand to explain, and she saw it dripping in ink. She immediately demanded to know what was going on, and I pulled out the pen to explain that it was the reason for the whole mess. Unfortunately for me, Shruthi maam went ballistic seeing the pen, adn tried to wrench it from my hand. But being my first successful invention, I wasn't about to let go of it so easily, and starting waving my hand wildly to prevent her form reaching it. In the process, the ink got sprayed all over HM's silver saree, until the pen drained out. By the time Shruthi maam let go of my hand, HM's saree was redesigned into a trendy one(well not everyone would have my kind of taste in fashion, so people who object can ignore that word) with dithering droplets of blue all over the silver.

She just walked out in a huff to change the saree. But my story didn't end there. I got yet another whacking form Shruthi maam for redesigning HM's saree, although truth be told, if she had left my pen alone all this wouldn't have happened. But then, am I to judge events, she too had pressure to react when a student of hers was surely fiddling around(was just saying I could have been spared the thrashing).

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

Vinasha Kaale Vipareetha Buddhi - Part 2 - 5th Standard

One of the most favourite timepass of mine any day is whistling. It not only helps me pass time on really boring days, but has also got so embedded in my sub-conscious that although I would be involved in very serious works like examinations, I would without my knowledge start whistling while writing much to the dismay of those around me. The arrogance I once had is the cause for this wonderful habit(wonderful according to me) of mine.

It all started during a class being taken by Shruthi maam(she used to teach us Maths then), when she was taking a class just before Sports Time(the sports time was the months of November to almost mid-Jan, when hardly any classes used to take place and all the days used to be spent playing when we were not practising for Sports Meet). She too got bored of taking the class and besides nobody was even interested in the class, so she decided to spice things up a bit. She asked us to guess what music there would be for our drill that year. Nobody could guess, and she revealed that it was to be a 'film song' theme of the then chartbuster "Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast". No sooner had she completed this, the class broke into a clamour, and she had to shout on the top of her voice to even be heard, finally she got the class quiet and told us it was a secret and that we were not supposed to leak it to anyone.

She was going to elaborate more on it when she was called away from the class on some work. In the meantime, somebody started whistling the tune of that song in the class. I really didn't bother because my favourite pastime of all-time used to be sleeping. The moment I got any chance, I would just go into sleep. So I took a short nap, before maam came back in. It so happened that this guy(girls were 'very' disciplined then, and would never resort to such things), continued to whistle since he didn't know maam had come back in. He managed to just stop when she reached her table. She immediately turned around and began to ask "who was that whistling?". Naturally nobody answered, and besides those weren't the days when the new guys had joined. Guys who would sell us out to the Faculty just to look good in their books. Guys who would grow in life, only by trampling the existing guys. So nobody answered. She got really infuriated(as it is, she had a really short temper) and started bashing up whoever was within her reach(that's one of the disadvantages of sitting in the first bench, also that happened to the last year I would ever sit in the first bench in my entire life), which brought her to me.

I was just fully awake, when she started slapping me. Out of instinct, I caught her hand and pushed it back and told her it wasn't me and that I didn't even know how to whistle. She just wouldn't listen. She kept asking me, "if not you, the who?". I couldn't tell her because I really didn't know(not that I would have even if I knew). So she went on and so did I. After a while it really got irritating and I told her "how many times do I have to tell you I don't know, can't you understand. If you want I will learn how to whistle and then whistle in front of you, then you can trash me, but until then don't even dare touch me". I still don't know if she was shocked enough or just left me because her anger had cooled down, but anyway she let go of me, and fumed out of the class.

However, I wasn't the one to let things rest, I was too arrogant back then to do so. So I set about learning how to whistle. I went around to guys who I knew, knew to whistle and asked them how they did it, and began my earnest efforts to get it as fast as I could. Somehow, within a week I was able to get some basic tunes and then began to look when I would find maam alone. One fine day, my chance came, was just entering class when she also was. Just called her and whistled the tune of that song, and told her now hit me, I whistled. This took the lid off her. She trashed the daylights out of me, and then dragged me to HM's office. I was beginning to become a regular there.

Even today when I think of it, I just don't regret my actions, because it led me into a habit that has benefited me in life. So that's atleast one thing that I have learned through arrogance, if not from it.

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

Vinasha Kaale Vipareetha Buddhi - Part 1 - 5th Standard

It has been quite a long time since I have found the leisure to post here. But I intend to make up for it in some marathon posting sessions. Readers will note that this is my first non-English title for a post. Have thought over a title for many days, but couldn't come up with one that could express the above title perfectly in English, and have therefore decided to do away with language as a barrier for the title(for those who are not familiar with Sanskrit, the closest translation that I can offer is "you thinking gets most twisted just before your downfall". Alternatively the one English saying that fits it to a certain extent is "Pride comes before a fall". However to say that only pride does is a gross understatement, and have therefore decided against using it as a title).

To begin with this post I am tempted to quote Charles Dickens about the times that were in the 5th Standard, but shall pass on the chance.

To begin with I would have to describe the structure of the groups(gangs?) that then were the predominant employers of the class. There was Jai Sai's group that consisted of himself(the leader/ringleader), Naga Ranjan, his enforcer, Dileep Kumar, his confidant and a host of others I don't really remember. There was Jigmee's group that consisted of himself(the leader/ringleader), Rohit Parmar, his Man Friday, P Gunaranjan, his confidant, and Mayur Pradhan and Bhagat Singh, his enforcers(don't remember the 'A' section setup more precisely because I was in 'B' section, maybe Nagi would be of more help here).

Although I wasn't in the thick of these things and didn't have any particular allegiance to any of these groups, I was a kind of freelancer/mercenary who dabbled in odd jobs for both these groups as the wind favoured. I used to sit in the first bench beside the door with two guys who were the thickest friends of each other at that time, Harshith and V. Sooraj. I would sit between them both, with V. Sooraj sitting nearest to the door. Harshith was known for his rubber body and V. Sooraj for his 'dead stand', where there were regular contests between who was best(for the record, the fight was always between V. Sooraj and Nagi regarding Dead Stand, and Saurabh Aggarwal, Rohit Parmar and another 6th Standard guy, GKK I think, regarding hand stand(in regard to number of dormitories they could walk, although Nagi and Sooraj were also active participants in this category. On a completely different note, a fad that picked up at that time was juggling and there was always a contest between Jeevan Reddy and another 6th Standard guy, I think finally Jeevan won, headstand hadn't yet come into vogue then).

Our classroom was the last one just beside the toilets(where we had innumerable adventures(specially in the room inside the toilets where shoes and other discarded sports materials used to be stored) and lots of secret fights, it was our very own bloodsport arena). We three(Harshith, Sooraj and me) were the official lookout people for the entire class and thus were able to smell Shruti maam(Shruti Raja maam, our class teacher for the year) and her Yardley powder much before everyone else.

Although I must confess the most fun anybody ever had in 5th Class was in the Hindi class taken by Shashi maam. She would always have a class in 'A' section before ours and would take her textbook/notebook from there and head to our class which was next door. The moment she entered, all pandemonium would break loose, not that there was any noise, it was more a flurry of activities that were silent and yet mischievous. These were made possible because of the way she took the class. She had only one modus operandi, enter when the bell rings, walk from one end of the class to the other end with the book in her hand, and when she reached the end, turn around, and walk to the other end, all the while never taking her eyes off the book in her hand. She would stop this routine only when the bell rang, when she would keep walking, albeit with the closed book and just walk out of the class.

The best adventures from our bench used to be the hand stand, that Harshith and V. Sooraj used to do, following her halfway till the table and then running back to sit before she turned around. I never took part much in the other games that used to happen behind her back(some were so horrible, can't even mention them(like the bubble gum in the chair one), except for one game that I felt was a little challenging. It was a contest between me and Rohit and sometimes between me and Jigmee. They both used to sit in the last bench and would run upto the board the moment she crossed the first row, where they sat, and draw as best a picture of a cat they could on the board(in such a short span, they sure couldn't draw a Garfield), and then ran back to their bench and sit(Shashi maam was called 'pussy cat' then, for reasons that I cannot perfectly recall).

That was when my part of the adventure would begin. My work was to get up after they had sat(mind you I used to sit in between two others), and rush to the table, pick up the duster from it, rub the cat they had drawn, and place the duster back and get to my seat before she turned around(lots of times, had to put the duster into my pocket because of the time crunch, it wasn't the conventional duster of wood with a little padding stuck on, it was a huge chunk of sponge with a dark blue(the one we wore for our uniform) cloth stitched around it for longevity, Kasturi Aunty would get quite a number of dusters a day for repairs).

This wasn't a pre-planned trick that had an exact number of repeat performances, and the specific time for each one fixed beforehand. It was just based on pure instinct, which made it all the more adventurous. We did it whenever we were short of kicks, which was very often, about 2 or 3 times in every class. The understanding was very simple, irrespective of who had done it, it was my job to get the cat cleaned if there was one on the board. One such time, Rohit who was always known for pushing his luck, delayed till the last minute and then drew it and ran back. I was dumbstruck because, Shashi maam was beginning to turn around and I hadn't even begun to get up to clean it. Upon further thinking I decided to wait it out, since she never used to look anywhere, I was gambling on her just passing by and turning, whereupon I would seize my chance and clean it up.

However, I wasn't the only person with plans. Rohit was really tense that he had drawn it and although I had failed to rub it, it would be he who would be taken to HM if maam saw it, and thus was making his own plans cursing me all the time. The moment maam crossed the first row, my moment of reckoning arrived. I ran with all my strength to get to the duster, but unfortunately I wasn't alone. Rohit too ran to rub it off. The path being narrow, he collided with Shashi maam who was dazed and turned around to see the duster in my hand. She took one look at it and turned to the board. Guess what she found there. Well atleast in my life there were no filmi surprises, off we were marched to HM's Office which was just down the wing, but not before we got a good round in the class itself. That was the first time I was brought into HM's office for gross misbehaviour(meaning behaviour that was unacceptable to any standards of an educational institution, leave alone the institution we were studying in), although there would be many more frequent visits, the first one has however stayed in my mind forever.

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

A Prelude To The 5th Standard

Before launching into my account of whatever recollections remain of my 5th Standard, it is important, to emphasise on the circumstances and events that surrounded the times then. This was by far one of the most important years of the development of my character. It taught me a lot of things, none of which I can ever forget.

It taught me the value of friendship, and of the need for friends(or rather the needlessness of it). It taught me about following your calling, no matter what it does to you and the people around you. It taught me about 'herd mentality' and the excesses that have always been committed throughout history in its name(communal riots, racial discrimination to name a few). Most important of all, for the first time ever, it taught me about the accountability for my actions.

Be that as it may, I would like to first elaborate on the conditions at that time. The divide between the Ooty guys and Parthi Guys grew really large and there emerged two groups that were called 'Jigmee's group' and 'Jai Sai's group(led by Jigmee Lama and T. Jai Sai respectively). And two new students R. Prasanna and Nirupama had joined. Prasanna was put in our Section(B). Later due to a colossal fights between the two sections, Prasanna was shifted to 'A' Section.

Fights between the two sections were quite commonplace, both sportive and non-sportive. Shruti maam(no longer at Primary, I am told) was our Class Teacher. This was the year from when we began to learn Sanskrit(never quite got the hang of it, Vaidehi maam, who used to teach us then, came in for a lot of criticism in 6th Class from Bhavani maam, who cringed at the fact that Sanskrit 'shabdas' were being taught in a singsong manner).

Overall, it was a year, that ended with many a tear.

- GUPTA GHOST

In Pursuit Of Fame - (Part 2) - 4th Standard

Just when I thought I had enough of adhesives, and there weren't anymore to try, Jigmee and Co. bettered themselves. This time there was no shortage of materials to try out. It was soon time for rubbers(erasers, the white ones are really damn good, although can't say the same of the greenish blue ones), and plastic covers(not really tasty) and even limestone(chunnam, flakes of it were peeled off from different walls, for me to sample and comment on their edibility). All though all of these didn't really bother me much, what really did was the 'tar' incident. It was the one that made me infamous for the Guiness Book feat.

We were walking for Darshan one Sunday morning, when we used to pick up small stones with our feet and throw it on the guys walking in front of us. One such time, I picked up the stone and was about to throw it, when Vaidehi maam came up next to me. I immediately dropped the stone into my shirt pocket, to throw after she passed me. Unfortunately, that day the stones were different. They had just laid the road before General Hospital in tar the previous day and the stones were still wet with tar. I found that out when I put my hand into my pocket to pull out the stone. I felt it very sticky and looked at it, and to my shock found that tar was stuck to my hand. I tried to rub it off but it wouldn't go. I tried scraping it with a leaf, but that too didn't work. Finally I thought maybe, if I could use my teeth to peel it off, I could then spit it out. So I began to set about the task, when the guys walking next to me saw me licking something and asked me what i was eating, I sowed him my hand. He took one look at it and began shouting, "Thandava is eating tar, everybody, Thandava is eating tar". That was the event that made me(infamous). Soon throughout Darshan that day, all the guys(don't know about the girls) were talking about the tar.

If that wasn't enough publicity, the tar had also soiled me shirt pocket when I threw it in, and on the way back everybody would break line to come next to me, look at my pocket and walk back to tell the tale. Yes, they had seen it. There was still lot more in my pocket, I used to eat it regularly, I had just run out of tar, and so on so forth. And if that still wasn't enough, I did something after Darshan, that would make the whole set of incidents unforgettable. I ate a whole 3 inch nail(or did I?).

After Darshan, we were sitting in the lobby, waiting for our turn for 'buffalo milk', when I began to feel bored. I looked around and found that one of the nails with which those green visitors chairs were fixed to the ground, was loose and coming off. So I put in a little effort and pulled it out completely. I was wondering what to do with it, when an idea suddenly struck me. I keep wondering how I could think of something so diabolic, but then there it was, right in my head. I decided to have some fun with it.

I called Kali(DKC, alias D. Kali Charan) who was sitting beside me and told him I was going to swallow the nail. He thought I was joking and told me to go ahead(after all even a kid knows eating other stuff and eating a nail has a lot of difference. Sure, I had eaten gum, rubbers, and just finished with 'tar', but those wouldn't cut my throat on the way down). I was seated at an angle to him and started to put the nail into my mouth and pushed it right in. Well it seemed so but I actually didn't. I took it by the side of my cheek and threw it down(those who have seen Aamir Khan swallow a whole fish in the title song of 'Dil Chahta Hai', will know how this illusion can be achieved).

That was it, immediately, Kali started shouting that I had swallowed a whole looooonnnngggg nail and that he had seen it with his own eyes, that was the 'Estoppel' that prevented any further denial from my part. I was immediately hauled off by my collar, by Vaidehi maam and taken to Warden Aunty who was serving milk inside. The story along with the other 'tar' anecdotes attached was repeated by Vaidehi from whatever legend the students made it out to be. Immediately Warden Aunty swung into action, called Kitchen Aunty and told her something. She went in and returned with a bunch of bananas, which I was forced to eat(cleared about 7 of them and then had to drown the whole thing in 3 glasses of 'buffalo milk'). I was then told that it was to help me shit it out soon. And that after I was done, I was to bring the nail and submit it to Warden Aunty(never really understood that part, maybe it was to ensure that I had really shat it out). Anyway I was told to go immediately to the dormitory and try to shit it out. On the way, I walked to the chairs, picked up the nail, and took it up with me(they weren't seriously expecting the nail to cut through my intestines also, were they?). I waited for half an hour and then went to Warden Aunty and submitted the nail. By which time I was told, she had gone and reported the matter to HM also.

That was the end of my first attempt to pursue fame.

- GUPTA GHOST

P.S.
Although the incident put and end to my Guiness Book aspiration. It also made me infamous, and every mention of any Guiness Record in the school also brought out my feats as a joke for discussion. This not only continued throughout my High School days also, but still continues by my family members, who were apparently personally called up by HM to be informed of this 'most urgent' matter.

If there is one lesson that came out of the whole episode, it was that fame really is a fickle mistress. The moment they learnt that the whole episode had made me infamous, the very people who had encouraged me to take it up in earnest, and who went to great lengths to supply me with innovative materials to sample, started avoiding me like the plague. This continued upto the end of 4th Standard.

In Pursuit Of Fame - (Part 1) - 4th Standard

Although the three episodes were supposed to be the sum of my 4th Standard experiences, have just recalled an important episode which must be told. For a lot of people it is necessary to clear this particular episode of its infamous trappings(must admit contributed to it myself in no small way). Anyway for those who cannot wait, it's none other than the 'Guiness Book' episode.

The one thing that my batch, some of my seniors, lot of my juniors and the staff cannot forget me is the Guiness Record episode.

It all began this way. Sometime in the beginning of 4th Standard, I began to hear talk of book that people called the "Guiness Book of World Records"(Guiness Book for short). All the students would talk about how the greatest, fastest, highest, longest and many such records were entered into this book and an entry into this book meant lifelong fame and recognition. Really don't know what made me suddenly for inexhaustible fame and the limelight, man, did I love the very thought of getting into the book.

So I mentioned it to some guys, who told me I had to do something entirely different and adventurous to get in. They asked me what I would do. I really didn't know. I mean, later when I sat to think on it, I realised, that I couldn't jump or run, or throw or do anything faster than anybody in the class, leave alone the record-holder. So I let go of my plans to enter the BOOK. A few months went by when one day, we were talking about a lot of things, when one of the guys mentioned the Guiness Book and said lots of people were now getting in for eating. And mind you, it wasn't 'NORMAL' eating being referred to here. People were getting in for eating bulbs, tubelights, bicycles and even a whole plane. This suddenly struck me as a brilliant idea to get into the BOOK. I mean the route into the BOOK was so simple, as simple as eating. I just had to find something different to eat from what these people were eating, and I would smash my way into the BOOK and splash my photograph onto the front page.

So, in all my enthusiasm I set about informing everybody in the class that I was attempting to enter the Guiness Book and that I would do so by eating. And announced that anybody could help me choose items to eat that would get noticed(was initially in two minds whether to announce it or not, because I had a great fear of failure, and used to think what if I couldn't eat the things I promised, I would be laughed at by the whole class. So my brain got the better of me, and anyway, I decided that having a lot of witnesses would surely be a help, and thus went ahead with the announcement).

The initial interest soon fizzled as I set out trying my own experiments in private. I began by eating the first available thing in the classroom, paper. To my surprise that paper wasn't so bad after all, I mean, it was just a tasteless ball of something once you got it into your mouth, cardboard is an entirely different horror story though. Slowly I got into chalks as paper soon bored me. The moment one teacher went out, I would collect all the broken pieces of chalk and begin munching on them. The calcium really made them taste good(though I must admit that over the years the quality of chalks has deteriorated and the chalks available now are just a little classification short of toxic). Getting bored with chalk pieces also, I moved onto pencils, the next available resource. Although the lead tasted good(used to call it so, later learnt it had nothing to do with the element 'Plumbum' and was actually graphite), the wood was really bad, especially the ones by HP(Hindustan Pencils). They tasted like rotten beechwood. After many such experiences with easily resources, I got bored with the idea and had decided to drop it.

Then began the twist, one fine day, when no teacher came to take a particular class, Jigmee(more of him in 5th Standard) got really bored and decided to have some fun on me. So he sat next to me and told me if I was still trying to get into the BOOK. I decided to humour him since I too was bored and said yes. But also told him that I had run out of materials to try and was hence taking a break on the whole thing. He told me "don't worry, I will get you as many things as you can try eating" and set about that task. He returned with a transparent tube of gum from the cupboard(the pinkish hued one by Camlin, still in the market) and handed it to me. I was now bound to try it since he had looked a lot to find me something, and expected to see me eat it. I thought why the hell not, I anyway didn't have anything better to do.

Thus began my graduation into gums(no pun). Tried drinking the thing but it tasted awful, so I spread it all over my hand and let it dry. Once it had dried I peeled it off and tried eating it, to my surprise, it tasted wonderful. One thing led to another, and soon, I was into Fevicol, which tasted much better when hand-dried. Soon they had to resort to getting more from even the girl's classes to help me keep up my appetite for it(in 4th Standard our class was the last in the girl's wing, just before the cooler). Not all adhesives taste good however. Specially ones that are cheap, mass produced and meant for office use. Learnt it the hard way, as always. Once we were through with all possible gums', they decided, there was only one gum left which I hadn't tasted. The brown syrupy one sold by Camlin in a blue bottle. But there were only two bottles of it that we knew of in the entire school. One in HM's office and the other in the Staff Room. They decided that it was better to try risking the one from the Staff Room since it was rarely used, and even then only to stick torn library books(the library had not yet been separated then).

So one afternoon, whe everyone was coming out from lunch, Rohit Parmar(more on him too in the 5th Standard) was sent to smuggle out the precious syrup a.k.a last gum left. He was in an out like a cat and had a capful of it with him. The cap was handed over to me and 4 pairs of eyes moved from the cap to me and back. I decided to give it a try although it smelled awful. I took one sip and felt like like spitting out the whole damn stuff, but dared not, since they had gone to a lot of trouble to get it in the first place. So I forced myself to swallow it and hoped I wouldn't vomit. Luckily I didn't(WARNING: Those of you who may be inspired to try eating adhesives after reading this, please note, I REQUEST you not to try the brown gum in a blue bottle, it really tastes like vomit and will churn your insides out).

to be continued... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

P.S.
Still eat paper and chalk to this day. They really are a harmless lot(despite the warning about the chalks of today). Can't really let go of the habit. Its the paper that keeps pulling me back into the habit, because of its abundant availability, I mean, anywhere I go, any place I look there's always some or the other paper, so much for computerisation and digitisation.

A Tempest of Temper - 4th Standard - Part 3

<--Thanx to Ashish Verma for his timely recollection and correction of events in the third eye episode, although I must admit, even his recollection is a bit hazy, but then, it happens a lot to everyone-->

Well having got the spelling episode also behind me, I shall move on to the interesting and now that I come to think of it quite funnier of the episodes of my 4th Standard. Chocolates. Readers must understand that although many would know me as the embodiment of peace, or atleast remember me as appearing like one to them, I wasn't always that way. For quite a long time I was the most unruly kid you would ever come across. I still believe that it was the episode after 5th Standard that changed my life 720 degrees.

Chocolates

The incident began in quite an ordinary way. Although I have since come to believe that it I who blew the whole issue out of proportion. Attaching God alone knows what emotions to my actions. Anyway here it goes. In the year 1994, my grandfather was brought to Parthi for an open-heart surgery, and my parents too came along with him. They stayed there for the better part of a month and would come to visit me every opportunity they got(which was obviously only on Sundays). I remember them asking each time "what shall i get for you next sunday?", and the answer would always be the same "foreign chocolates". They had found a store near home that sold these confectionaries and had brought a big load of it with them, knowing I freaked out on chocolates. Since I would clear the whole lot on a single day, they used to bring some every Sunday.

One particular Sunday, were returning after Darshan, and I was just walking in the line, when I felt somebody lunge at me and pull me out of the line. I turned around and saw, it was my mother. She had spotted me in the great spotting contest that was a prelude to every parents meeting on Sundays. She was about to talk to me, when Shruti maam(who was leading our class since it was Vaidehi maam's duty at the hostel) yanked me back into the line. But not before my mother managed to slip me a chocolate, which was noticed by Shruti maam. She didn't react then, but calmly led the line upto the dining hall, where we had a glassful of horrible milk(the Sunday milk used to always invariably taste horribly, and we used to call it 'Buffalo milk'. Later on I got to know that, it must have actually been cow milk, since buffalo milk tastes much better than cow milk. Poor buffaloes, always got blamed for the horrible Sunday morning milk).

The moment we got out of the dining hall, she called the class together, and as if she was announcing the results of a bumper draw, called out my name in the dormitory just as we were getting ready to go out for 'games' and pinched me by my ear. And she announced "this fellow's mother doesn't know how to behave. he pulled him out of the line to give him a chocolate. She couldn't wait till evening". Saying this, she told me to give her the chocolate. I asked her why and she told me it was the punishment. Now I was really pissed off. I honestly believed that she wanted the chocolate and since I wouldn't give her, she took it this way(to this day I don't know why I thought so). I was filled with a flush of anger, and threw the chocolate at her, and ran to my shelf and took out all the other chocolates I had managed to smuggle in on Sundays, and hurled them at her face saying "here, take these also, eat all of them yourself".

Well the ending didn't quite please me. I was made to kneel down in the central lobby throughout the afternoon until the time for parents meet. Thankfully HM didn't went by without noticing me, although Warden Aunty did. It was getting to be time for the parents meet and I was fidgeting on my knees, wanting to get up and go. Warden Aunty just came up and saw me there, she asked me why I was kneeling, and I told her. She also whacked me one, and told me never to repeat it and let me go. So much for chocolates, never lost my taste for them though. Don't believe any of you would, if you went through so much for them.

- GUPTA GHOST

P.S.
I don't know what you people inferred from this incident, but I know the lesson I learnt from it(although not then, I was far too arrogant then , to learn anything from such incidents. Learnt it much later when I used to retrospect on such incidents). I learnt never to react hastily when you are angry. You will stand to lose more than you already have. And you will be none the wiser.

A Tempest of Temper - 4th Standard - Part 2

Well, I don't really know if the incident(third eye) served as a catalyst for our relationship later on, or whether it was just another seemingly disjointed occurrence in this world of unexplainable happenings(well there are those that believe that there is no isolated event, and everything is inherently linked to everything else and all events move at the behest of a primeval cause, don't really have an opinion on that though, because some days, when times are good, I believe in it, however I don't when times are bad). The essence being however that, it was my first recollection of Sadde as a person. He still maybe the same person(with a very short fuse, that's right at the tip of his nose, and just as easily given to laughing), but it doesn't really matter, because once we have forged the pact, it becomes our duty to be bound by it.

Moving on to other events during the 4th Standard, the next one that comes to mind is the Spelling Test.

2. Spelling Test

Although I don't remember the first instance that she became our teacher, I honestly believe it was during the 4th Standard that she became our English teacher. Of course people who are more sure of their memory are always welcome to correct my faltering memory. The person I am talking about is none other than Anantalakshmi maam(of the "not even a blade of grass can move without His will" fame).

She was our English teacher in our 4th Standard and was a formidable one at that. Not that she had an imposing figure, she was actually reed thin, as if she might be blown away any minute if we switched on the fan. If there was a reason she was feared, it was because of her voice. It had a reed-like quality to it, as shrill as a trumpet stuffed with macaroni can get. Although no glass ever shattered during her class, there was always the risk that it might happen any day(just kidding, her voice was like that only when she got angry, though one must admit, it was the norm, because she would get easily ticked off at the slightest movement).

Anyway, returning to the crux of this post, maam conducted a spelling test one day, when she was really disgusted at some of the spellings she saw in the unit test. It was for 100 marks and there were hundred words to spell. She would rattle off the words and we had about 20 seconds to write the spelling. The test was over and done with, and she went about correcting the papers. The marks were soon out, and to my great astonishment, I had got a 99.

I mean people would say why crib when you got the highest. But its not about getting the highest, it is about getting what you deserve. I deserved a hundred because I put in the effort to get it and wrote all the spellings correctly. It irked me more because the whole issue was about the legibility(my handwriting contributed to it in a major way, being almost as neat as a doctor's prescription).

The whole issue was that my 'i' looked like an 'e' according to her. And to me it was clearly an i. To this day I don't know if she refused to give me the mark because of a genuine misunderstanding or because she refused to accept that anyone could get a hundred. But I do know the consequences of the whole incident. I refused to attend any more of her classes, until she gave me the hundred, and just walked out of the class. She too stuck to her stand, and refused to relent. Thats what I relish, a fight with an opponent who doesn't bow down. And besides women have always been the haughtier of the sexes and thats what makes it all the more fun fighting with them(not physically i mean).


Anyway matters came to a heady climax, when I started walking out of the class the moment she walked in. For two days she just shouted at me to get back in. The third day, she decided she had had enough and took me to HM. HM was as usual looking through those inscrutable glasses at both of us. And I don't know what made her do so, but she just told maam, to get my paper and took a look at it and said "it looks fine. why don't you give him the mark and get on with the classes". That settled matters and the verdict was binding, and yes, although she could have still fought, she decided to be a gentlewoman and gave me the mark.

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

P.S.
1. Its quite a paradox that the word in dispute happened to be 'friend'.
2. For those who didn't know, Anantalakshmi maam used to brag that she had "four eyes" and could see everything we did(referring to her moony speactacles). Surprising though that her four eyes couldn't help her decipher the spelling. That's what happens when Gupta Ghost writes.

A Tempest of Temper - 4th Standard - Part 1

Have decided to do away with the 'clothes list' letter, because it's beginning to sound more and more like a Harry Potter custom. But that's how it really was. I mean we really wouldn't want to go home for a long time. Liked all our classmates more than family(whatever our misgivings), so we were always anxious to get back. And the clothes list was the first sign that school was going to reopen soon. Although we never had a 9 3/4 Platform and invisible train, the good old train by Indian Railways was equally good enough for enjoyment quotient. So enough about clothes list.

I came to the school and found that Vaidehi maam was our class teacher for the year, and was really pleased, because she always had a disarming smile that would put you off your guard. Of course, those who have seen her frown(with eyebrows, surprisingly arched downwards , and pouting lips) would vouch that she seemed quite uncomfortable acting angry. Anyway there she was, checking the luggage, as the students checked in, one after the other.

My memories of the 4th Standard are not quite momentous. Although I must admit, that things did happen then, which have played a far greater role in moulding my character to a greater extent than during any other class, specially the ones involving Vishnu and me. A pity though, that I don't yet want to share them. May never want to. But you never know. Times do changes. Atleast for now, those episodes are best left unmentioned for the benefit of everyone concerned.

There are however incidents that have come to mind, that I believe can be shared for the purpose of this blog. Actually I currently remember only three, and hence this series will be limited to that number unless my memory can do better. They are:

1. Third Eye.
2. Spelling Test.
3. Chocolates.

1. Third Eye

This was the first experience in my life that I recall with my lifelong comrade-in-arms, Ashish Verma a.k.a Sadde(hereinafter called so for the rest of this blog). The classes had resumed and one fine day, in the afternoon, after lunch, we were in the dormitory(still wonder why, because we had classes after lunch, maybe a bunch of us came up for toilet). Whatever the reason, about 10 of us were in the dormitory, and I was actually just walking in.

Everyone was surrounding a guy, who was in the middle of the circle and was apparently talking something interesting. I decided to get up close and hear for myself what seemed to be so interesting to a bunch of 4th Graders. Sure enough, there he was, mesmerising everyone with his sales pitch kind of talk. It was about his spectacles. He had just got a new pair of them and as is wont with children, was already bragging the earth about it. I wouldn't have taken much interest in the whole episode if it wasn't for a claim that really set me thinking(really couldn't resist my Newtonian urges then).

He was saying "these are unbreakable. just drop them anywhere and on anything and see if you don't believe". Since there were a fair number of naysayers, he felt it an obligation to give them an unwarranted demo by dropping them a number of times onto the floor. I was naturally fascinated just like the others, but unfortunately didn't stop at that. I went forward and asked him if they were really unbreakable. Really irritated by my question even after seeing such an impressive demo he said "if you don't believe, any of you can try". I promptly accepted the offer and took the spectacles from him. I lifted it as high as I could(too bad, wasn't really so tall then, wish I was ten feet tall and had done the experiment), and threw it onto the floor with all the force I could muster. It hit the floor with a resounding bang and the inimitable shattering sound of glass. It was then I found that he wasn't as sportive as he was a few moments ago.

Rama amma too had heard the sound since it had disturbed her afternoon siesta. She immediately got up, took her stick and came as briskly as she allow towards us. I was just frozen there transfixed, not sure what to do, when Rama amma reached us. It was then that Sadde pulled the most coolest trick I ever saw anybody pull.

He pulled the stick from Rama amma, and that itself, although really shocking, was enough for me to get unfrozen from my 'petrify' spell and start running. Unfortunately, that was the year when the cots from Ooty were put in the dormitories and they occupied the entire central portion of the dormitory, severely limiting my escape routes. I tried to get as far away as I could before I got hit. Unfortunately, that wasn't to be my day. Adding to the trick he had just pulled, Sadde pulled another ace from under his sleeveless sleeve.

Unable to chasing me he was about 10 metres from me. I was just about to break into a grin, when he pulled off a smart move. He decided to turn the stick into a missile and hurled it at me. Caught unawares, it hit me squat in the center, on my forehead. It hurt for some time and then subsided, but not before being replaced by an enormous blob of a swelling, which stayed that way for a good part of four days despite any medicine I applied on it. Throughout that period I was taunted as Shiva, because my name was Thandava and the swelling on my forehead exactly resembled the fabled "Third Eye"(the very same one on which many tales were cooked up amongst us about pralaya and that kind of stuff).

I don't remember him talking to me again, throughout the 4th Standard. Although I wouldn't blame him for it. If I was in his place I too might have cursed the guy who broke my brand new spectacles that weren't even a day old and besides there was the explanation he would have to give his parents about what happened to his spectacles(he was never much of a storyteller, though he has vastly improved since).

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

To Enjoy And To Learn - 3rd Standard (Part 2)

Well, 'eye infection' will forever be remembered as the shortcut to bunking classes. It was the evergreen disease. Measles, scabies and chicken pox came and went, but eye infection would be the one that would outlast them all, not because of complexity or because of being an endemic disease(as popularised by the 'madras eye'), but ironically because of the simplicity.

The simplicity of transfer, that made it spread through 40 to 50 students in a single day. For the more enterprising ones like me, because of the simplicity in obtaining it(or should I say faking it). We were a batch of guys who would hover over the horizon, like vultures, looking for he first signs of eye-infection in anyone. The moment it came to our knowledge that so-and-so person had it, we would rush to that guy and try prying open his eyes and looking in them. We were told that it spread by contagion, that is, through contact by air. The best part of eye-infection, is that there was never a slack in supply of people with it. It was always in fashion, 365 days a year or more.

Upon such prying open and staring, a few of us would get it. For the rest of us, there was always the 'detergent infection'. All we would do is wait for these guys of our gang to get admitted and when the number reached about 10, and a separate dormitory was being opened, the rest of us would rub a speck of detergent into our eyes and lo-and-behold, we were into the world of eye-infection. We were a kind that thrived on mass-production, long before we even knew the term. Because of the sheer number of us waiting to be admitted, there wouldn't be a formal thorough checkup, if your eyes were red, you were in, and when they cleared, you were out.

So, on alternate days, when there used to be checking, we would help ourselves to liberal supply of detergent(from the dhobi box, ah, the very mention of the word, brings memories of the dhobi box adventures). Not only when someone else contracted it, we would even use it to bunk classes on some days, and also to bunk unit tests. Unfortunately the curtains soon fell on eye-infection, when I left Primary School.

The other most significant activity apart from bunking classes by faking diseases, was to read books. Upto our 5th Standard ending, the library was a cramped room next to HM's office, which initially was also used as the staff room. The library then, had about 8 to 10 racks of books that were mostly childrens' classics in a condensed and usually hardbound illustrated form. We used to have one period called 'library period' in the whole week. This was the time many used to gather in a corner and chat(there never was, and will never be, any dearth of topics to chat about). However, I used to use this time to read about 30 pages of a book(the periods then were for only 40 or 45 min. if I am not wrong), or to conclude a book I had started the previous week. After about 2 months I found it really frustrating that there were almost 1000 books and I was not even being given an hour a week to read them. At this rate even if I continuously failed for about 40 years I would still be nowhere near completing them. Besides, what made it so frustrating was the fact that the books were not allowed to be borrowed(even today I have not been able to comprehend the reason why, although childish negligence and carelessness, leading to loss books seems a probable answer). You could only read whatever you could within the library period.

That was when I decided to take matters(or should I say books) into my own hands. I decided, that if you were not allowed to borrow officially, then you were entitled to borrow unofficially(flick?). So every library period, when no one was watching, I would take 4 or 5 books, depending on their thickness and tuck them between my shirt and short(we never used to wear pants then). Then after classes, while everybody went for games, I would go up to the dormitory and hide them in my shelf. And everyday night, after everyone slept, I would go into the bathroom and sit on the top wall, and read one book a day(as much as I could finish before I felt sleepy). Then the next week on library period day, I would take all the books down to class, and from there to the library, to be 'exchanged'. There was only one minor incident, during my whole stay, regarding the library books. It happened during my 3rd Standard.

We used to stay with 4th Standard guys, and one fine day, there was a raid in the dormitory for 5 stones(the eponymous games, that led to a great number of fights, breakups, and needless to say enjoyment), and all the shelves were being checked. They were approaching my shelf, when I suddenly remembered that I had a library book in my shelf. Immediately, I took it out and hid it in the nearest place I could find, out of the window(if students recall, every window had a ledge above and below it, where a lot of trash used to be thrown, it was a place where even a prized set of 5 stones, much akin to a pair of Shakuni's dice, used to be hidden).

I forgot about the whole issue. Towards the end of the year when everybody was packing for holidays, I put my hand out of the window and groped around for my set of 'lucky 5 stones' that I had hidden there. To my astonishment I felt something long and hard. I pulled it in and found it was a hardback edition of "Treasure Island" by R.L. Stevenson. I was shocked, because I had forgotten to remove it on the raid day, and had forgotten it totally in the days thereafter. Besides, we didn't have any more library periods in the year since our exams had also got over. The only option, I decided, was to take it home and bring back the next year and return it. And so, in it went, as I packed my clothes all over it. To cut an already long story short, the book inevitably never came back. That proved to be my good fortune(my criminal mind was not so razor-sharp, back in those days). Because if I had brought back the book with me, I would have been caught while I brought it in, during the luggage checking while joining.

- GUPTA GHOST

P.S.
I still have the book in my collection.

To Enjoy And To Learn - 3rd Standard (Part 1)

Having got the 'clothes letter', I got ready for school after 2nd Standard vacations. Upon reaching school, I found myself at the end of a long line of students checking in(rejoining) after holidays. The best part of school was the timetable. It was always perfect about two things:

1. Holidays would always start on April 1st(some used to leave on March 31st evening). An interesting coincidence being that April 1st was also HM's Birthday.

2. School would always reopen on June 1st(This has been the schedule for all the years that I have studied there).

Coming back to the line, I don't recall them checking the luggage so thoroughly during my 2nd Standard, but I would recall them do so from now on for every year. It was always a list in the teacher's hand compared against actual luggage. God help those who bring 1 underwear less or one white pant less.

The line was how I learnt that our class teacher for the year was Uma maam. Was never much fond of her, because initially she was one of the 'pinching stars' of the faculty'. However my opinion of her gradually changed, when I found that if you knew how stay on the right side of the fence, there was a lesser chance for you to get pinched, unlike other maams who would pinch for the glory of pinching(quite a few readers will know who I am referring to).

The most prominent events of 3rd Standard that still linger in my memories are the diseases(or should I rather call them epidemics). I went through one after another. First it was Measles. No sooner did I recover, I was struck with Chicken Pox. And of course not to forget the evergreen 'Eye Infection'.

The best part about these diseases was that they were highly anticipated and awaited like springtime. Those who were ill were placed in a separate dormitory(the sick room was never sufficient for the number of students that were down everyday), and did not need to attend classes(for obvious reasons of contagion).

Those who were down with measles(am talking of the lucky guys like me, who were early birds) were taken to the room near Sai Srinivas(guest house) on the way to Mandir. There we would laugh, play around, jump and shout, and enjoy all day long except for the few hours that 'medical amma' would appear to apply a pink lotion all over our bodies and bring us breakfast, lunch, tiffin and dinner. We would also get those lovely cars that Swami gave, for playing, and cars would be hotly fought about(I still remember that the most 'in-demand' car was the pull-back car, which was a very prized possession, and Sanjit got one in 4th Standard as a prize). In fact they were the reason a lot of us became sick, to play with cars. Unfortunately, for those who came in late, for measles I mean, because the number grew too large for the room, they were kept in the school itself in a separate dormitory(well that was fun in its own way, but you can never compare it with the charm of a few guys staying in a room, having fun all day).

Even the chicken pox guys used to be housed in a separate dormitory, but that was after a lot of them got down with it. Luckily even in the case of chicken pox, I was what I would like to call a 'pioneer', and the chosen few of us got to stay in that room again. This time it was one hell of an enjoyment purely because of the classes we were going to miss(all of us missed about nearly a month), and that made it feel it like heaven, although then, the sick room was a kind of mini-heaven even otherwise, because of the food we used to get and simply because of the schedule.

And to talk about eye-infection will take me to the end of this page, so it would be better to talk of it in the next post, along with my other adventure of the 3rd Standard(library).

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

Friends and Foes - 2nd Standard(Part-2)

The second incident I remember about my 2nd Standard, is my fracture.

It was a really funny incident, and even now when I come to think of it, the only thought I get is "How could I have been so stupid?". It all started on the third day after I joined. I was passing through the central hall between the dormitories, when I happened to see, some of the seniors in their dormitories having a hand-stand race. I was really fascinated by it. I mean, I had never seen anybody do such a kind of thing even in the movies.

Immediately, I went back to our dormitory and started attempting the same. needless to say, even after about 40 trials I hadn't even got started. Then came the most stupidest thought. I still don't know if the idea itself was good and the execution flawed or vice-versa. But, the important point is that it got me a fracture.

I decided that although I didn't know how to do it, if I tried to do it on the steps leading down to the lobby, somebody who knew, would notice my efforts, appreciate my dedication, and get right down to teaching me. It might have still worked out, if someone didn't have a bigger plan for me. Right at the moment that I started it at the first step and fell down there itself, NBR(N. Brahmananda Reddy, who studied with us upto 4th Standard) was passing by and he stopped. He asked me what I was trying to do, and I told him. He told me "It won't work this way, you wont get enough attention. Instead, if you try doing it on the railing(he meant the railing of the steps), everybody who is standing beside the steps for breakfast will notice you."

Now, I was really beginning to get cold feet. I mean, I was literally wobbling at the knees. It was one thing to try it on the stairs where I would land on the next one if I failed, and it was entirely a different thing, to try it on the railing where if I failed, I would go all the way down. So I refused flat out to try such a thing and asked him"What if I fall?". He simply said, "I am there, I will catch you." Somehow I felt a lot more reassured and got ready for the big stunt.

Everything went as per the plan, except the climax. I caught the railing with my hands and pushed myself upwards. Only to flip over and land on my hand, down the other side of the railing, in front of the toys showcase and beside some boys waiting to go in for breakfast. For a while I just lay there not even sure what had happened. And then I got up and found I couldn't feel my left hand. Poor NBR, was waiting on the stairs and was wondering where I had gone. I just didn't happen to fall on the side he was waiting to hold me.

I remember walking to the medical room, and telling Aunty(I really don't remember her name, I think it was Radhika or something like that, something that started with an R. She loved to write the most nasty-tasting tablets and would almost always recommend an injection, and was therefore considered one of the top terrors in the hostel) that I felt great pain in my hand. She asked me how, and I told her, I slipped from the stairs and fell on my hand. She immediately gave me some damn injection(I knew I shouldn't have come there in the first place) and took me to the general hospital for a checkup.

At the hospital I was made to undertake an X-Ray, and was told it was a fracture. So we went to the dressing guy(still don't remember what his official title is) and he put my hand in a cast. The first few days, were a real torture, as everybody who found me walking around in a cast, would stop me and enquire how I had got it. After the first few days however, I began to see the upside of having a fracture. Everywhere I went, I got preferential treatment. Even for food where everybody used to fight to go in first, I was allowed to go to the head of the line, just because I had a fracture.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. And so did my fracture, which was removed after a month. And boy, life did get back to its usual routine nondescript way.

But not for long, adventure was never an earshot away from me.

- GUPTA GHOST

Friends and Foes - 2nd Standard

If you remember, in my earlier post, I was talking of somebody nearly equaling my score. It was none other than IAK(I. Aditya Kumar), who got 97. He also happened to be the first guy whom I befriended, maybe because of unpacking our luggage on the same day or maybe otherwise. But the fact remains that he was my first friend in the school.

IAK and I have a long and chequered history(of fights and make-ups). For quite a long period of time(maybe 6 years) we were on-off buddies, who would be friends for a few days and be at each other's necks for a few more days. Well, the significant reason why we were even friends may have been due to a factor called 'Sections'. In the 2nd Standard there were 2 sections(although later we were split into more, only to be rejoined into two again in the 5th Standard. Now these sections were fundamentally divided on the basis of origin of batch. There were the Parthi guys and there were the Ooty guys.

Ours was the last batch for such an occurrence, because the school in Ooty was closed down after the Ooty guys from my class finished with their 1st Standard(the very last batch of 1st Standard there). So since the school in Parthi already had a section for 1st Standard, the Ooty guys were all just moved in as a separate additional section. Since we two(IAK and myself, although I believe there was also a girl who joined along with us) were new admissions, we were just added to the Ooty section that had been created. We were to continue there until the 6th standard, when after the great 'gang war' and 'great cleansing', the two groups(Ooty and Parthi) were finally mixed.

I have very few memories of my 2nd Standard, because there were not many really memorable incidents. However the two things that I do remember about my 2nd Standard are:

1. Pin-Drop Stories
2. Fracture

To keep the post from getting unusually lengthy, I will only deal with the first one here.

PIN DROP STORIES

Well, to begin with, there is nothing as a Pin-Drop Story, its just a name I have given now to stories that we were told almost everyday. There was this maam called Soumya maam. Everyday(well almost) after bhajans, we were sent to the classrooms to wait our turn for dinner(the dining hall was not large enough to accomodate everyone and thus classes would be sent one after the other), and Soumya maam usually, invariably was sent to 'mind' our class until dinner. She would keep us all engaged by telling us a-story-a-day. However there was a small hitch to it, she would only tell us a story if we kept quiet(you can imagine how noisy a bunch of almost 40 2nd Standard students can get). To ensure this, she would call for what she termed 'pin-drop' silence(and no, believe me, it's not the cliche you are used to), which literally meant, she gave a minute to get silent and the she would drop a pin onto the floor(literally). If she heard a sound, she would tell us a story right away, else we were given one more chance to get ourselves a story. If she failed to hear a sound the second time over, it meant we were simply not going to be told a story that day.

Now comes the most important question of the whole exercise, did it work? Well, honestly, for most of the days, say 20 days a month, we used to be told a story. As to the rest of the days, well, there was always somebody or the other(me included) who decided they had to talk when they had to, and this deprived the rest of the class of the story for the day. The most difficult part of the exercise was not just hearing the pin drop, it was about having to keep absolutely quiet until the end of the story. It seems an improbable task, but somehow if a story got started, I never remember it being stopped in between because someone had talked.

to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST

Of Effort And Trust - Part 2

Well, once I had my fill of the Elephant Slide, I moved on to the other rides and went around trying to guess which animals were what. By the time I was done, it was evening and everyone was rounded up and taken for bhajans. Now, that was another concept that was entirely new to me. I had never seen anybody pray this way before. The only exposure I had towards prayer were the incoherently muttered mumbo-jumbo by my parents at home. Even that was never as lively and engaging as the bhajans. I felt drawn into it just by the tune and kept trying to follow despite not understanding a single word, they were so enveloping and infectious.


After bhajans, we left to the dormitories for a few minutes before dinner, and lo and behold, the first person I came into contact with was Ganesh, and he immediately asked me if I was a new admission, and which class. When I told him 2nd Class, he told me he too was in 2nd Class and to this day I remember the first time anybody mispronounced my name, it was him. I can understand Britishers calling Ootakamund as Ooty and Thiruvanathapuram as Trivandrum, but here was this guy, a pucca Indian, pronouncing my name(Thandava Krishna) as 'Thataki', because that was the only name that came to his mind that resembled my name! The rest of the guys surrounded me and asked him who I was, and he repeated my name. Thus I was introduced royally to everyone as 'Thataki', a name that more or less came to be my involuntary alias for the better part of the next 5 years( I tried explaining my name wasn't that but nobody would listen, until the next day Sangeetha maam(our class teacher) called my name in class.

Soon, it was time for dinner, and we went down in a line. The moment I reached the serving counter, I took one look at the serving counter, glanced at all the items, and immediately ran from there. I was stopped at the door, by Prema maam who was on duty there and was assigned as a special case to Prassanna maam(misbehaving case rather). When she came to know I spoke Telugu, she asked me in Telugu why I wasn't eating, and I told her that it was my first day in the school and I didn't like any of the food and didn't even know what they were serving. She was very understanding and took me to the elevated end of the hall where the teachers used to eat and made me sit, and asked me "ok what will you eat?". Nothing flashed, and the only thing I remembered were the biscuits I ate on the way to the school. So I told her "biscuits, aunty"(I didn't know what the teachers were called here, and I didn't even know if she was a teacher there).

She smiled(maybe at the request, maybe at being called aunty, I will never know), and went to the table there and got me a big box of animal-shaped biscuits that used to be given out very rarely and filled a lot of them onto my plate(even now when I come to think of it, that was the only day in my life I ate the maximum number of animal-shaped biscuits, throughout the rest of my school life, biscuits meant by default "Marie Biscuits").


The fact that I never told her or anybody else in my life was that, the reason I ran away from eating was because of the curry. That day happened to be 'meal-maker' or 'nuggets' curry as it was referred to. I saw the pieces and they starkly resemble pieces of mutton(I used to eat non-vegetarian then, and in my home my folks ate all kinds of stuff, although now I have turned completely vegetarian and am constantly taunted for it at home). I was told that non-veg was not only not served in the school, but also strictly forbidden, and if they(staff) came to know I was eating non-veg, I would be kicked out of the school(I still remember, everytime we came back after holidays, HM would ask everyone whether they watched movies, or whether they ate non-veg, but although she never used to ask me, my parents would always jump the gun and say "he hasn't been eating any such thing").

It was more of a confusion than dislike. I was stunned actually, that this was a school that forbade eating non-veg at home, and here I was, waiting in a queue for a large serving of what I was very much sure was mutton. So I ran away. Later, I asked IAK(more of him in the next and subsequent parts), who told me that it was vegetarian and nothing to worry.

I spent my first night, dreaming about being kicked out because THEY found out I had eaten 'nuggets' curry. Gives me the shivers every time I think of it. Maybe I should have just told Prassanna maam about it, but somehow I felt she would laugh right back at me in front of everyone and make me look foolish.

So much for dinner(and all my effort to get in, and my trust in the school to serve me non-veg).

- GUPTA GHOST

P.S.
Future Posts relating to Primary School will bear Class Numbers in the Title to help establish a time-frame for reference.

Of Effort And Trust - Part 1

"The greater the rise, the harder the fall". But what of people who have never climbed, can they ever fall? Is there something lower than the ground(a pit is also ground at the bottom)? These are the questions that come to mind when I think of how I joined the Sri Sathya Sai Primary School.

Legend has it(well actually I was told by my family) that, the first time around, they had actually taken me to join in the 1st Standard itself. Munni Aunty(hereinafter referred to as HM a.k.a Principal, for the rest of the blog, even if otherwise specified) had asked me my name, and I just stared from HM to my family and back(and back and forth a few more times). For those who didn't get the joke, I had done my Kindergarten in Telugu medium and those were as far as I remember, probably the first words of English I ever heard in my life. Hell, I didn't even know what language was being talked around me.

There was some discussion and some pleading(voice-reading?), after which I was taken back home. I didn't even know what had happened and asked whether I was in or out. Everyone just laughed and said "your time hasn't yet come". So I came to join Bala Sankara Vidyalaya or whatever school it was, that was in T. Nagar. I was made to stay at my grandfather's house, as it was only a few hundred feet from the school, and my parents were in Guntakal at that time.

I was told that I had one year to learn English and join the school I was earlier taken to, or continue in the school I was forced to join. Sometimes I think, I was made to join a Tamil school(a language that was completely alien to me) in order to force me to learn English. I jumped to the task only because of one reason, the Elephant Slide in the playground. When I had come to take admission in 1st Standard, I was really fascinated by seeing other children emerging from the head of the Elephant and sliding down its trunk. I badly wanted to slide down its trunk, and besides the school I was made to join didn't even have a decent playground. Thus the one and only deciding factor for me to learn English was the Elephant Slide.

Nobody in the house were well-versed in the language. So the only alternative was to learn it myself. My grandfather taught me the alphabet and I figured writing it out on my own (so you now know why my handwriting is so impressively illegible). I was given only one exercise the whole of my 1st Standard, to read aloud the newspaper everyday morning. In those we used to subscribe to The Hindu(and I believe we still do), and as soon as the paper came flying through the gate, until the time to leave for school, the only task I was assigned, was to read the paper aloud and my grandfather would stop me at every sentence and make me pronounce the words right. He would then make me read the line again until I got the word right. Well, it was really bothersome, but only for the first 3-4 months, after which I had got a good hang on the words. Then came an unexpected blow to my skill, seeing that I was blazing through the paper, he made me hold a dictionary in one hand, and would suddenly stop me and ask me the meaning of a word I had just read. This exercise which lasted for about 6 months really took away all the juice that was left in my brain, and filled it with God alone knows what. The last two months were spent in an even more bizarre ritual, knowing that I could tell him the meanings of almost any word in the paper, he began asking me the meaning of the paragraph I had just read, and what I had understood from it.

Thankfully, the most gruelling year of my life came to a quick end(with the final exams turning out the way they did, as described in the previous post), and I was all set to apply again to the Sri Sathya Sai Primary School(Primary School hereafterwards).

I remember we had arrived a day early, and spent the night before the entrance rehearsing dialogues in English, while my family was busy stitching my initials(PTK) onto all my clothes, which in itself was a big motivator. Well, to understand the significance of this, you have to first understand the procedure.

After a prospective student writes the entrance exam, he or she is sent back and then a call letter is sent informing the parents about the admission and attached to it would be a list of clothes that were required for the year(for all the subsequent years, the 'clothes list' letter was the only way I knew I had been promoted to the next class).

The fact that my parents were stitching/engraving my initials on my clothes itself signified the confidence they had in me. They were sure I would be in, and they didn't want to cause a delay only because I had to go buy those clothes and then get them marked(the academic year had already started).

Well, the next morning, I went for the exam, and was given the paper and made to sit in the library and write the exam(the room next to HM's room that was then doubling as Staff Room).
I was done in an hour, and was told I had to wait around 20 minutes for the result.

An important point that I forgot to mention was that, despite all the confidence and stuff, my grandfather was really tense and anxious about whether I would atleast get in this time or not, and so he knew the next best thing, that he thought would seal my admission - Influence. He got to know that Anjali Devi was in fact that very day in Parthi to have Darshan, and having produced a few movies with her, invited her to accompany him for the admission.

While we were waiting for the result, Warden came into the corridor to go to HM's office. On the way in she saw Anjali Devi sitting on the little bench outside the office, and began talking to her instead. She was told that I had come to seek admission, and immediately took us into the office. Just as we went in, the results also were brought in along with us.

One look at me, and HM said "him, you brought him here again?". She then looked at the exam result, then at me and back at the exam result again. Now, I was really beginning to get tensed. Did I really flunk(well that was not new to me) or did I get through. I was sure I had written absolutely well, in fact it was the only time I had felt good after completing an exam. But the look on HM's face was inscrutable and gave away not the slightest hint. She just looked up and asked me a few more questions in English which I answered. She gave the marks sheet to my parents and told them to preserve it. Later, I was told the reason why, it seems I had scored a 98, which nobody else had ever done before in the entrance exam(I did learn a few days later that somebody had scored nearly the same figure).

I was immediately admitted and after the fees were paid and all the clothes were tallied with the list, I was taken to the dormitory, while my parents were made to wait downstairs(and man, were they real, those were the biggest rooms I had seen in my entire life of 6yrs, I didn't even know they were called dormitories). I then went downstairs and told goodbye to my parents and was just waiting for them to leave. The moment I saw them exit the main gate, I ran to the Elephant Slide and huff-puffed my way up for the first grand slide of my life(no pun intended).


to be continued... ... ...

- GUPTA GHOST